A Bag of Funk

Ok so i haven't blogged in a while. I am in a funk and i just dont have much to say these days. So maybe i will just try to verbalize how i am feeling

• Well i have a perpetual headache or just a stuffy head
• I feel all discombobulated, like i cant get my head on straight on focused
• I dont feel like doing anything, even talking
• I'm trying to figure out what i want to do, why i am in school, and if thats what i want to do
• I feel so inadequate at work, school, and in my relationships
• I feel very unspecial
• I feel rather dry (I had two of my friends tell me i was dry) lol. upon hearing. I was DEVESTATED, because i consider myself a funny person. Isn't it funny how we get mad at people for telling us something that is not the way we would have characterized ourselves at all.
• I've been on a hiatis from my home church for like 2 months, and have been visiting this other church that i really like ( i feel such freedom and like I am so much more myself there and the world just keeps speaking to where i am now), but i still feel guilty for rolling out on my other church. But then I was listening to somebody talk passionately about their church the other day, and i was like wow, I wish i could feel that same way about my home church, but i don't. I really like alot of the people though. And what does that mean about me, about how I'm made and where i need to be i dont know. Then i am like i should just stop being a flake and honor my committment as a member of my church. I dont know, i also dont want to be lame and just roll out the back door forever and have people wondering, "what happened to Spirit." Then again, i dont want to suck it up and just be miserable. I'm waiting for some clear direction from God, cause i dont really trust my judgement these days.
• I feel like i dont know is the answer to every question in my life right now
• I dont feel like doing any school work because i am disinterested, I've procrastinated all weekend and tomorrow is monday. A bunch of work to do and I dont know where to start.
• We started LQ(Ladies of Quality) this week, which is a bible study for teen girls in my neighborhood that i help lead. That went ok, man these girls kill me, cause they always complaining about something, but no matter how much they frustrate me, they are funny and i love hanging out with them so much. Its probably the most frustrating and fun i have all week. Then a few of them are always at my house or want a ride or some food or something, which is stressful at times, but its nice to feel needed or feel like i am helping someone.
• I've realized just how selfish I am among other things. And it kills me how there are so may things about me that i want to but just cant change overnight.