Just one foot in front of the other

I dont use and alarm clock, because I dont need one. My eyes pop open almost every morning about 6:15. Most of the time, mostly weekdays, i lay there with my eyes closed wishing i didnt have to get up so soon. Every monday morning I wake up and wish it could be friday evening again. I close my eyes and clinch them real tight as if that would zap me back in time. I awoke this morning saddened and afraid. Saddened that another day, weekend, and year had flown by and all of my happy moments were just memories. I cant do it over again, its over. I remember just this time last year. When i have these moments i always feel like clamering for more time, another hour, another day to my weekend, to redo and experience again some of my happy moments. Then I was afraid, afraid of what is to come. My summer is almost over, school will be starting, new schedule, responsibilities, new people, relationships and new moments, both good and bad. I'm scared of what those new moments will bring, afraid and unsure of how i will face them. I feel like i can't do whatever it is the future will bring. I almost did not want to put my feet on the floor, because that would solidify my movement into the future and the official start to my day. For some strange reason, today i felt like i felt on the first day of school up until 12th grade. This lump in my throat, because its here again, the new begginning. This morning I felt like its here again, my life, and i cant deny it or go back to sleep or act like i'm on a detour or long vacation, waiting for it to begin, its here and it was scary. My mom always says just put one foot in front of the other. There is nothing particularly special about today, but this is it and I am here and I did all i could do this morning, get up and put one foot in front of the other.